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[31 Jan 2006|06:17pm] |
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mood |
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 touched |
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music |
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Judas |
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i think i'm pretty awesome
since i forgot how to use this
and i just figured it out in spanish
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[22 Oct 2005|06:20pm] |
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journals are lame
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[26 Aug 2005|12:00pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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some dog is annoyingly barking |
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Well we're going to be in school at this time pretty soon.
I guess im pretty happy to go back
but i'd be happier not going as soon as we have too
I just went school shopping yesterday in i think birch run
that was pretty fun
i got a few things
i still want to get another shirt of two though
i want to hopefully have another poker thing again too
it was pretty fun last time
even though i didn't win any money
not entirly sure what im doing today
but i'll talk to all of you later
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[18 Aug 2005|08:32pm] |
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mood |
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grateful |
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music |
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Tomorrow I'll Be You |
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Gorgeous
Beautiful
Stunning
Elegant
Astonishing
Spectacular
Extravagant
Magnificent
Fabulous
Impressive
Attractive
Striking
Good Looking
Dazzling
Lovely
Amazing
Incredible
Beyond Belief
Wonderful
Astounding
Remarkable
Shocking
which ones describe you
who else do they describe to you
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[10 Aug 2005|07:54pm] |
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mood |
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wahoo |
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music |
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Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades Lyrics |
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Keep the noise low,
She doesn't wanna blow it,
Shake from head to toe
while your left hand does the "show me around"
Quickens your heartbeat,
It beats me straight into the ground.
You don't recover from a night like this.
A victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless.
A hand moves in the dark to a zipper.
Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets
barely whisper, "This is so messed up."
Upon arrival the guests had all stared.
Dripping wet and clearly depressed,
he'd headed straight for the stairs.
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch,
unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships.
(Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.)
He keeps his hands low.
He doesn't wanna blow it.
He's wet from head to toe and
his eyes give her the up and the down.
His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up.
But the body on the bed beckons forward
and he starts growing up.
The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason i breathed, but now its choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
She hits the lights.
This doesn't seem quite fair.
Despite everything he learned from his friends,
he doesn't feel so prepared.
She's breathing quiet and smooth.
He's gasping for air.
"This is the first and last time," he says.
She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He's holding back from telling her
exactly what it really feels like.
He is the lamb, she is the slaughter.
She's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her.
Nothing that tells her is really having an effect.
He whispers that he loves her,
but she's probably only looking for...
(Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.)
So much more than he could ever give.
A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He waits for it to end
and for the aching in his guts to subside.
The people, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason i breathed, but now its choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.
The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason i breathed, but now its choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
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[07 Aug 2005|11:51am] |
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mood |
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who cares |
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music |
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thunderstuck |
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well, you see i was reading meagans livejournal
and she updated just yesterday
so that encouraged me to update
latly i've been hanging out with people, everyday
pretty amazing, seeing usually i say no to people about hanging out
i hung out with mike yesterday
now we weren't jumping over any six foot walls
but hey, me and mike are going to be rich
we found a pretzel that looks like the B for the Boston Redsox
and were selling it for millions
im going camping the 12th,13th,and 14th
its not for too long
but its going to be incredibly fun
we're going kayaking if thats spelled right
and we might go fourwheeling like the last time
and fishing
and it will be fun
maybe you'll get another update out of me after i go
and it will be all about it
but i have to go eat breakfast now
i'll talk to you some other time
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[25 Jul 2005|06:48pm] |
hey my name is neil and i think i'm a pimp, but really i'm not. I take tons of pics of myself naked with my mom's camera!!!
I <333 my sister & her bfffff caterina!!!!!
;)
I also take pictures of the spongebob i drew at my grandmother's house. I am very proud of my accomplishments and i strive to be more and more like my INSANELY creative sister pamela. God i envy her. One day, when i get that operation, i may even look like her.
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[24 Jul 2005|10:19pm] |
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mood |
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good |
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music |
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One-Eighty By Summer |
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lately..
i got new headphones the other day
im pretty happy about that
im using my mp3 a lot more
and i broke it sort of today
but its still fine
robby stayed the night last night
we skated to 7-11 last night at like 1.30
i got a mountain dew slurpee
..one of the greatest slurpee flavors in the world
we just fucked around a lot and swam
and we found a pretty sweet place to skate at
in st. clair shores
tomorrow im going to pull weeds at my moms friends house for a couple hours
on tuesday im probably going to a cottage
should be real fun
i'll be back wednesday night or thursday in the day time
im going camping again in august too
its going to be awesome!
i cant wait!
this is the first summer i've really gone camping
and its incredibly fun
oh, i got new shoes and sandals too!
my sandals are etnies
and my shoes are es
they look sweet on me, and only me
because im just sweet like that
i hope everyones having fun this summer
i am
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[11 Jul 2005|02:18pm] |
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music |
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Give 'Em Hell Kid |
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well someone is making me update
so i guess i will
so far my summer has been pretty good
i've had a lot of fun
and i plan on having way more fun
yesterday i went to madison heights to a little skate park
it was pretty sweet
then i went to wendys
and i ate food there
and there service is pretty lame
but then i went on a boatride on my uncles boat
it was a lot of fun
im really glad i went
and my little cousin Kyle is so funny
then i was at my grandmas for a little bit
i got home around 12
and today tim and brandon should be on there way over right now
we are probably going to skate some
and maybe swim
and i have to cut my lawn today
should be so much fun
okay, thats it for now
maybe i'll update later
but i doubt it
okay everyone have a good summerr!
caity, i love you
comment like crazyy
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[09 Jul 2005|03:02pm] |
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woo its summer
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| One-Eighty By Summer |
[16 Jun 2005|09:07pm] |
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mood |
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woo lets go to target |
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music |
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One-Eighty By Summer |
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Come on just say it,
You need me like a bad habit,
One that gives you the interest of indepth and love.
Come on just say it (Are you afraid to),
You need me like a bad habit (Say what you want to, tell me you want to),
One that gives you the interest of indepth and love (Are you afraid to say what you want to, tell me you want to).
Well I hold my tongue use it to assess,
The damage from way back when it mattered,
But nothing seems important anymore,
We’re just protecting ourselves from our self,
And I don’t think I’ll ever come back down (I don’t think I’ll ever come back down),
I don’t think I’ll ever come back down (I don’t think I’ll ever come back down),
I don’t think I’ll ever come back down (I don’t think I’ll ever come back…),
I don’t think I’ll ever come back…
Are you ashamed to say what you want to tell me you want to.
Are you ashamed to say what you want to tell me you want to.
(Come on just say it) Are you ashamed to (Come on just say it) say what you want to tell me you want to.
(Come on just say it) Are you ashamed to (Come on just say it) say what you want to tell me you want to.
I’m making the difference,
It just seems pointless,
Well I’ll be obvious,
That’s got out of focus,
Why can’t you just be happy,
Why can’t you just be happy.
And I don’t think I’ll ever come back down (I don’t think I’ll ever come back down),
I don’t think I’ll ever come back down (I don’t think I’ll ever come back down),
I don’t think I’ll ever come back down (I don’t think I’ll ever come back…),
I don’t think I’ll ever come back...
(Just come back… {over and over, about 15 times})
Just come on just say it,
Come on just say it,
Well I’ll just say it,
I’ll just say it,
I need you defenseless, dependent and alone.
(Just come back… {over and over, about 9 times})
She says live up to your first impression,
Well my best side was your worst invention,
In case you live without the intention,
In case you live without the intention.
(Just come back… {over and over, about 8 times})
She says live up to your first impression,
Well my best side was your worst invention,
In case you live without the intention,
In case you live without the intention.
She says live up to your first impression (Come on, just say it),
Well my best side was your worst invention (Come on, just say it),
Why cant you live without the intention (I need you defenseless, dependent),
Why can’t you love without the intention (alone).
She says live up to your first impression (I just say it),
Well my best side was your worst invention (I just say it),
Why cant you live without the intention (I need you defenseless, dependent),
Why can’t you love without the intention (Alone),
Why can’t you love (Defenseless, dependent),
Why cant you love (Defenseless, dependent),
Why can’t you love…without…love…without (Defenseless, dependent, defenseless, dependent),
Why can’t you love (Defenseless, dependent),
Why can’t you love (Defenseless, dependent),
Why can’t you love…without…love…without (Defenseless, dependent, defenseless, dependent).
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[15 Jun 2005|11:23pm] |
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mood |
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woo schools over |
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music |
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black music |
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[01 Jun 2005|08:48pm] |
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mood |
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excitedd |
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music |
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Midnight Run |
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Well as you can all see i am updating
so hows life goin' for everyone
its going pretty good for me
summer is pretty much here
this summer should kickass
my pool is open
and its ready to swim in
but i'll save that for another day
school is almost donnne!
a couple more weeks and everyone will be happy
well i dont plan on making this long
so i'll you to you all later
comment i guess
caity i love you so much beautiful!
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[11 May 2005|10:36am] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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Tangled Up In You |
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Hey Everyone.
My day has been just fine & dandy.
i woke up, got ready for school,
then went to school. haha. um then
i went to 1st hour. Which was gay.
Then 2nd hour. Which i love! Then 3rd
hour. It's gay. 4th hour. I love it!
5th i love it! 6th is gay. 7th.. i love
that one too!
Then after was track.
I love track!
We took pictures.
Yessssss.
By the way this is Caity.
Updating for Neil.
I'm on the phone with him
riiight now! :O
I LOVE YOU NEIL!!!
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| Give 'Em Hell, Kid |
[26 Apr 2005|10:36pm] |
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mood |
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kind of bored/tired |
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To The End |
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oh baby here comes the sound
i took a train outta new orleans
and they shot me full of ephedrine
this is how we like to do it in the murder scene
can we settle up the score
if you were here i'd never have a fear
so go on live your life
but i miss you more than i did yesterday
you're beautiful
well i'm a total wreck and almost every day
like the firing squad or the mess you made
well don't i look pretty walking down the street
in the best damn dress i own
if you were here i'd never have a fear
so go on live your life
but i miss you more than i did yesterday
you're so far away
so c'mon show me how
cause i mean this more than words can ever say
we are young and we don't care
your dreams and your hopeless hair
we never wanted it to be this way
for all our lives
do you care at all?
if you were here i'd never have a fear
so go on live your life
but i miss you more than i did yesterday
you're so far away
so c'mon show me how
cause i mean this more than words can ever say
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| Hello! |
[16 Apr 2005|12:36pm] |
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happy |
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Smashed Into Pieces |
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Oh my gosh neil is updating =o
Well everyone, i don't have much to talk about, but i'll try just to make a few people happy. Soo latly i have been going to school, then track, then someones house, then home. School is going pretty good latly, yesterday i went to 4 elementrys to tell them how "band is cool". But that was fun, i mostly talked to Caity Emily and Angela. And the last school i had to pee like no ones had to pee before. But then i went. and Caity had to go, so i made fun of her for making fun of me.lol We got back from track, and i went to seventh hour, we passed out some papers. Then a firedrill. And i almost got "shipped outa there" by mr car for tapping Caitys shoulder. After school we had track at eastland, that was gay because the highschool is better. I did 4 laps around the soccer feild in 5:47..that not the greatest..After track, kelis lovly mom gave me a ride home so i didn't have to walk. Thanks Keli and your mom :D At home i sat around, talked online, and then got pissed off because my mom was being a fuckin' asshole, but it all worked out because we went to National Coney Island :D Thennnn, we went to mc.donalds and got strawberry-banana shakes, which i put in the freezer and happen to be eating right now! Then i went running around 10.30 Then i watched Jay Leno at 11.30, and sorry i never came back online Caity..i fell asleep, lol
Well i am going to go finish my shake
catcha you all laterr
Sincerly,
Neil Gudenau
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| Whoa nelly... |
[11 Apr 2005|08:08pm] |
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mood |
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In the mood for an icecream |
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music |
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How Long Is The Night? |
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If we run far away do you think we will ever die?
We'll throw these books in the fire
Can you stop the train
Cause it some delay?
The change machine lied
And it's too late to scream
How long is the night?
It's never over
The ribbon was tied
But the card was never read
The ribbon was crimson
The color of the night
Can you see the handwriting on the walls
And on the autumn leaves that call
"What are we gonna do?"
The trees are giving up on us
The needle and the thread
Won't stitch us to the branch
And the night never ends
I will never sleep again
(I will never even close my eyes)
If the sun is on its way
Then we will never die
And we'll follow these tracks to the sight
Now the lungs collapse
And the air is getting thin
All breath expired
Is too late to heal?
How long is the night?
It's all I ever see anymore
But the day was so bright in the pictures
In the photo album that you gave me
It's all I have to live for
I'm falling down
And you're not here to break my fall
I shut my eyes when you're around
I hold my breath to kill the sound of your voice
I'm falling down.
And you're not here to break my fall
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| Hey! |
[07 Apr 2005|06:20pm] |
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mood |
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relaxed |
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music |
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Pink Floyd |
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You gotta be crazy, you gotta have a real need
You gotta sleep on your toes, and when you're on the street
You gotta be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed
And then moving in silently, down wind and out of sight
You gotta strike when the moment is right without thinking.
And after a while, you can work on points for style
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake
A certain look in the eye, and an easy smile
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to
So that when they turn their backs on you
You'll get the chance to put the knife in.
You gotta keep one eye looking over your shoulder
You know it's going to get harder, and harder, and harder as you get older
And in the end you'll pack up, fly down south
Hide your head in the sand
Just another sad old man
All alone and dying of cancer.
And when you loose control, you'll reap the harvest that you've sown
And as the fear grows, the bad blood slows and turns to stone
And it's too late to loose the weight you used to need to throw around
So have a good drown, as you go down, alone
Dragged down by the stone.
I gotta admit that I'm a little bit confused
Sometimes it seems to me as if I'm just being used
Gotta stay awake, gotta try and shake off this creeping malaise
If I don't stand my own ground, how can I find my way out of this maze?
Deaf, dumb, and blind, you just keep on pretending
That everyone's expendable and no-one has a real friend
And it seems to you the thing to do would be to isolate the winner
And everythings done under the sun
And you believe at heart, everyone's a killer.
Who was born in a house full of pain
Who was trained not to spit in the fan
Who was told what to do by the man
Who was broken by trained personnel
Who was fitted with collar and chain
Who was given a pat on the back
Who was breaking away from the pack
Who was only a stranger at home
Who was ground down in the end
Who was found dead on the phone
Who was dragged down by the stone.
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| Hey Kids! |
[02 Apr 2005|01:19pm] |
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mood |
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woo! |
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music |
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Seventy Times 7 |
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Break is almost over..
I am staying the night at my sisters house today.
-randoms-
Im like 2 in a half feet taller.
I cut 5 inches off my hair.
To ladies-Your really a man.
To guys- Your really a woman.
Brand New
-Seventy Times 7-
Back in school they never taught us
what we needed to know
Like how to deal with despair
or someone breakin your heart
For twelve years I've held it all together
but a night like this is beggin to pull me apart
I played it quiet left you deep in conversation
I felt uncool and hung out around the kitchen
I remember I kept thinking
that I know you never would
And now I know I want to kill you
like only a best friend could
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to...
As if it happening wasn't enough
I got to go and write a song
just to remind myself how bad it sucked
Ignore the sun, covers over my head
Wrote a message on my pillow that says
"Jesse, stay asleep in bed"
Don't apologize (I hope you choke and die!)
Search your cell for something which to hang yourself
They say you need to pray
if you want to go to heaven
But they don't tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to Hell!
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to...
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to...
So is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause I've seen more spine on jellyfish
I've seen more guts on eleven-year-old kids
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there's ice on all the roads
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield
Is that what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
So let's end this call and end this conversation
And is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say "best friends" means friends forever
Is that what you call a getaway?!!
Tell me what you got away with!!
Cause I've seen more spine on jellyfish!!
I've seen more guts on eleven-year-old kids!!
Have another drink and drive yourself home!!
I hope there's ice on all the roads!!
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
then when your head goes through the windshield!!
(I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to...
(I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to...
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neilgudenau's journal